I Am the Color Blue

I was given a very good piece of advice the other day. I was at work on Sunday, listening to the soccer game on ESPN radio (imagine that) and was otherwise trying to make it through the last few hours of work before I could close for the day. A group of guys came in and were hanging out at the counter, listening to the game with me. They were obvious soccer fanatics and were surprised that I had the game on because I'm female. I've heard it before, so I explained how I've loved the game for years and have played soccer for a long time. So we all got to talking about positions, teams, and the like, and they asked if I played now. I said yes, since I'm on a summer 6v6 Y league (much fun, brutal, and frickin amazing). They told me I should come out and do pick up games with their team at the Arena Soccer place. Anyway, they went to one of the tables and sat for a while, periodically coming up to hear the score of the game and get refills of sweet tea.

One of the guys was listening to the game while I was getting his refill and asked me again to come out for one of their matches on Friday night. Since I work Friday nights, I told him that sadly, I could not. He then says to me, "So does your boyfriend play soccer too?" I laughed and told him I didn't have a boyfriend right now and was just kind of enjoying the summer.

He then gave me a really great piece of advice. He said, "Alex, you don't need to worry about finding a man. He will find you. You see, women are all different kinds of colors. Some are red, some are blue, some are pink, some are green. And each man likes a different color. So you just have to find the man that likes the same color you are. It's as easy as that!"

Even though I took the comment at face value when he said it, thinking about it now, he really gave some great advice. People spend too much time worrying about always being in a relationship, finding "the love of your life", and feel that they have to be miserable if they are not in a relationship. That's not true. You can be single AND happy. The two are not opposites. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being in relationships. It's why I don't like to date around and why when I am in a relationship, I tend to be in it for a while. But something I've learned in the last few months is that you shouldn't obsess over relationships, and that you do not always have to be in one. When it's meant to happen, it will. You can't force a relationship, and if you try it often ends badly for both parties involved.

And the man at work really was right. Women have their own color, and men like specific colors. Color can be personality, style, taste, social level, academic aptitude, athletic ability, or multiple other things. The point is, if you are, say, the color blue and you like a guy who really only likes the color green, neither of you is going to be happy. Green man will either have to settle for blue or pretend he likes blue, or Blue woman will have to try and be as close to green as she can. Either way, it doesn't really work. It's not worth it for either of them to try and change who they truly are. Now, I'm not saying that it's a bad idea to change some of your habits for the sake of your partner. Some changes are good. Complete changes in personality and behavior, however, only make you untrue to yourself and ultimately unhappy.

I am the color blue. And I'm a specific shade of blue. It's the shade of blue my eyes turn when I wear certain colors, or when I'm on the beach, or when I'm particularly tan. It's the shade of blue that matches a beautiful deep blue sky. And if I meet a guy some day who happens to fancy that shade of blue, well, I guess I'll be set.

Hello, My Name Is: All of the Above

Labels. We apply them to ourselves. We apply them to other people. We change them. We create them. We try to get rid of them.

Each of us has at least one nickname, some label that we apply when we talk about ourselves, or something that only one person has ever or will ever call us. I have quite a collection of them myself:

Nicknames or any sort of name I've been called and responded to:

Alex. Lex. Lexy. Lexington. Lextacy. Biller. Bill. A Bill. Fred. Whore. Smartass. Puta. Keeper. Keeps. Chica. Chiquita. Kid. Kiddo. Pumpkin. Penguin. Honey. Baby. Sweetheart. Darling. Dear. Hey you. Blondie. Girl.

Labels:

Student. Athlete. Photographer. Employee. Nerd. Southern Belle. Dreamer. Wisher. Fighter. Lover. Believer.

There are so many more nicknames and labels I could put on here, but that's not the point. The point is, I have a problem with labels. I don't have a problem with nicknames, in fact I rather like them, but labels bother me to an extent. I will label myself as many things, but I hate being labeled as something by people who do not know me. Growing up, teachers marked me as a "potential problem child" because my parents were divorced. In high school, I was pegged as "one of those smart kids" who apparently had no talent other than book smarts. And now in college, I'm one of those "out-of-staters". I'm not from around these parts. Well, not in Athens anyway. Labels create problems, preconceptions, and sometimes take a lifetime to reverse. People are often reluctant to change their viewpoint of a person if they already have that person pegged as something else. But, as I've realized through the years, labels are inevitable. They come with the territory. You start somewhere new and people don't know what to make of you, so they classify you based on what you know. I'm guilty of it as well. However, I do feel I have the ability to change that classification once I get to know that person better.

So my challenge to you, dear reader. Look beyond the label. Look beyond the "Hello, My Name Is:" tag, and instead see that person for who they truly are.